View from the Pew: Blessing a New Name

After choosing from my list of potential names I faced a new task: telling other people. As with most personal decisions, there is something vulnerable with sharing that decision with others. And with this, I was both sharing that I was no longer satisfied with my birth name and declaring that my name is Emery.

I was never too worried about telling the church. I’ve been relatively open about my relationship with gender since I started coming so logically this wouldn’t be treated differently. It was more the logistics of telling a group vs an individual. There was a part of me that just wanted to change my zoom name and let people notice the change on their own.

Linda was the one who suggested the blessing after I mentioned the name change at the end of an email. I was probably of very little help in the planning of the event. I had anxiety about being the center of attention, little knowledge of blessings, and am bad at asking for things so I had little to offer. It helped once Linda explained that a blessing is a gift. If I wanted all I had to do was be there, say less than a sentence, and receive it.

The blessing itself was beautiful. I spent the entire time feeling more than I could contain. Every word was meaningful. Each new part brought joy. It was nothing like what my anxiety would have wanted, and all the better for being so.

I never felt a part of the church I grew up in. I was alienated from whatever group I was supposed to be a part of and never had anyone I could go to for support. Discovering that I was trans was done in secret. It was something I researched in an incognito window instead of sleeping. There’s something indescribable about what were once two separate and isolating parts of my life being brought together into an event where I felt celebrated and seen. For that experience, I will forever be grateful.